Monday, 25 January 2016

Australians all let us rejoice, for we are young and free!

Australia Day.

When I was younger, Australia Day was always a day we celebrated living in the lucky country, it didn't matter what colour you were or which country you were from, if you were in Australia on Australia Day... you celebrated. You celebrated everything about the Australia you love.
Now that I'm older and particularly this year, Australia Day is becoming a day which is divisive. Now if you want to 'bogan' up on Australia Day and drape yourself in Red, White and Blue you're tarnished a racist. But it doesn't have to be like that, Australia Day is what YOU make it. If you choose to sit there whining about the problems in our history... well so be it. You are making the choice to sit there miserable while others are out enjoying this great land.

Hell, I'm white with British background and married to Bill who's Aboriginal. I enjoy learning about his culture, he enjoys mine... and together we enjoy ours. Ours that is Australian history. Neither of us were alive 200 years ago and Bill has never made me feel like any of it was my fault or done personally to him, sometimes we joke and he'll call me a convict and I'll call him a spear chucka.. we laugh and move on. THAT is the only way multiple cultures can coexist, it's also the Aussie way. When one repeatedly brings up the past and places the blame on your shoulders when you weren't even alive, it creates bad feelings on both sides, if Bill and I did that we would divorce pretty quickly.... so what makes it any different on a larger scale for the whole Australian community? Nothing, if that's what you choose.

Let it go. Celebrate AUSTRALIA. Celebrate in all its glory because together we share it's history. The good, the bad, the downright ugly.... but most importantly, the fantastic!

So what if Australia day began as a celebration of the founding of the colony of New South Wales, that isn't what we celebrate today. Today it's a celebration of Australia and its beauty.

This Australia Day, make the choice to enjoy all that makes us the best place on earth! Don't confuse culture with race. Celebrate the Aussie culture that we all live & love. We're all different races and we can celebrate one great culture!

Here is but a few reasons for us all to rejoice, not divide... and if you haven't tried some of these, it's about bloody time you did!

You know you’re Australian when…
1. You know all the words for Khe Sanh, Shuddupa Your Face, or Gangajang’s ‘This is Australia’!   Then there’s The Angels' classic ‘Am I ever Gonna See Your Face Again’, many AC/DC tunes, the odd Rose Tattoo number and the happy-pop wonders of the HooDoo Gurus! .

2. You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurrence. Sometimes it’s even fake, especially at Christmas time.

3. You roll your eyes when someone tells you the origins of the Australia Day celebrations, because that's not what it means to you.

4. You know that “stubbies” are either short shorts or small beer bottles.  You know a “hoon” is an idiot who likes fast cars, someone in trouble is in “strife” and you’re liable to laugh whenever you hear of Americans “rooting” for something.
 5. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o:  arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, lezzo, homo, lebo, sudo, maco, abo. Don't be offended, it's not an attack.

6. You know that some people pronounce Australia “Straya” and some pronounce it with a plum in their mouth "Ozstraylia" (the plums usually come from SA) n that’s ok.

7. You know that there is a universal place called “Woop Woop” located in the middle of nowhere… no matter where you actually are.

8. You know that while we call our friends ‘mates’, we don’t use terms like ‘bewdy’ and ‘shrimp on the barbie’, contrary to popular belief.

9. You also know that kangaroos don’t live in most Aussie's backyards, but we will happily pretend they do just to feel superior to people from foreign countries who think they do.

10. It makes you happy when a world famous Hollywood celebrity is actually Australian… Mel Gibson, Geoffrey Rush, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Baz Luhrman, Olivia Newton-John, Naomi Watts, Heath Ledger, Guy Pierce, Eric Bana, Toni Collette. John Farnham ...

11. You know who Skippy is. (And its not the white Australian's)

12. You know that Sydney 2000 was one of our proudest moments in history. We rocked!

13. And our saddest was the Lindt Cafe Siege.

14. You know that Melbourne should be the capital, because Canberra is a hole.... even though it's home to the social justice warriors.

15. You know that Americans think we’re all Steve Irwin clones. And crikey, they couldn’t be more wrong.

16. You have, at some point in your life, slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume.

17. You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread… and actually grow to like it. You’ve also squeezed Vegemite through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms. And it pisses you off that it's now halal.

18. You believe that democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of PM Turbull, mock others, shake it off and remain perfectly civil to each other.

19. You have the ability to compress several words into one – ie ‘g’day’ and ‘d’reckn?’. This allows more space for profanities.

20. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. He turns the steak ... and the women do everything else. (And you chuck some pork on there as a shit stir to see if your muslim mate will eat it. He will, cause he's not a dick and it doesn't make you a racist)

21. You say ‘no worries’ quite often, whether you realise it or not.

22. You know what fairy bread tastes like, and you can’t imagine your childhood without it.

23. You know the first verse to the national anthem, but still not exactly sure what “girt” means. And you’re ok with that. (It means surrounded, mystery solved.)

24. You’ve drank your tea/coffee/milo through a Tim Tam.

25. You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. And the ‘over the fence is 6 and out’ rule always applies.

26. You know that we are home to just about all of the world’s deadliest of animals. That’s why if anybody messes with us we’ll get some kangaroos on their arses.  (Oh yeah, you know that an ass is a donkey and a backside is an arse!)

27. You know that in summer a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.

28. Sausage rolls, meat pies and fairy bread. Say no more.

29. You have a story that somehow involves an excessive consumption of booze… but you can’t remember all the details.

30. You know it's 'Macca's' not 'McDonald's', and you know it's OK to have beetroot and/or pineapple on a burger.

31. You know how to slip, slop, slap like it’s nobody’s business
32. You know that the value of a public holiday is measured in terms of alcohol.

33. You refer to someone you like as “an old bastard”, but call someone you don’t like “a bit of a bastard”.

34. You know Drop Bears exist. Positively.

36. You say “scarnon?” instead of “what’s going on?”

37. You understand that “chuck a u-ey” is actually a carefully executed driving manoeuvre.

38. A giraffe taught you about drugs.

And last, but not least...

39. You know Australia IS the best bloody place on earth. Bar none.

So this Australia Day, be like Bill and start rejoicing INSTEAD of pretending this is the worst place on earth, coz quite frankly you look like an dick when compared to other countries problems!

Aussie Aussie Aussie!



  1. Well said. It's time people got over what we had no control over. If ever Australians need to pull together and stand as one it is now.

  2. Replies
    1. Why don't you get a life instead of following mine around social media? Kerrie, Lynne, Marie.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.